


Their Firsts

by lizette_antoinette



Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-01 17:29:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 5,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6529366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizette_antoinette/pseuds/lizette_antoinette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a first time for everything, especially with Hijikata and Gintoki. The first time they slept together, the first time they got stupid together, the first time they tried to kill each other (though we have already seen that one). A small series of HijiGin drabbles, as they go through all of their firsts, growing slowly closer to one another. DAILY UPDATES.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time they slept together, it was Gintoki who initiated it. His ‘Good Samaritan’ deed of the year, if you please.  
Soon after the Okita Mitsuba incident Hijikata changed. He became more withdrawn, more tightly wound than usual. When Gintoki stumbled into him at a local bar, he felt it instantly - the dangerous vibe radiating from Hijikata was becoming disturbingly similar to what Takasugi gave off when he got his mean streak. The same appetite for destruction.  
And Gintoki knew of only one easy way to, if not satisfy it entirely, then at least keep it in check. Equipped with many years of experience, he wasted no time in getting Hijikata sufficiently drunk and dragging him off to a nearby love hotel.  
Fumbling with their clothes in the dark, he kissed and scratched and bit it out of Hijikata, his fury, his pain, frustration, everything. Until they were both left exhausted and empty. Gintoki got out of there at the break of dawn. Waiting for the morning cuddling wasn’t really his thing, and neither were the hotel fees, for that matter.


	2. Chapter 2

When their going to the love hotels all over Kabuki-cho got too conspicuous, Hijikata dug deeper into his wallet and bought a tiny apartment on the outskirts of the area. He told Gintoki it was a place he had owned for a while and the freelancer seemed to believe him, or at least not care enough to question him further.  
For a while the only piece of furniture had been a futon. They didn’t have use for much else anyway. But slowly, almost sneakily, things started to accumulate. There was now a TV that Gintoki dragged in from a weekend garage sale and a small fridge stuffed with parfaits and mayonnaise bottles Hijikata got delivered from a local shop in bulk orders. Shonen Jumps, interlaced with Shinsengumi files, were stacked next to the futon.  
Hijikata wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. This was beginning to feel suspiciously like home. Except that Gintoki already had a home and people waiting for him there. And so did Hijikata for that matter.  
Several times Hijikata came in early, packed up all of the stuff and stood in the middle of the once again empty room for hours. It would be so easy to just throw all of this out. It was mostly old junk anyway. He knew Gintoki wouldn’t complain. He’d just go back to sleeping on work days in Yorozuya and being useless.  
The last time he tried this new routine of staring at a modest pile of plastic sacks and boxes it took him two cigarette packs before he went to unpack again. Precisely _because_ it would be so easy, he wasn’t sure he was ready to throw it away. _Any_ of it. He got out of the place just before his shift was about to start. If he hurried, he could still make it to the fresh fish stand. He had spotted tuna on sale there the day before. Maybe it was time to substitute empty sacks and boxes with some frying pans. For now.


	3. Chapter 3

The first Valentine’s Day craze to come their way was agreed upon by both parties to be entirely ignored. Which is why it was to Hijikata’s utter dismay that upon meeting up in the most unromantic of the bars, Gintoki pulled out a haphazardly wrapped gift box.  
Hijikata willed his face to stop burning as he brushed the delicate black lace spread inside with his sword-calloused fingers. Apparently, Gintoki got him a pair of edible underwear. And not the boxer shorts type either.  
After the initial shock had subsided, a part of Hijikata wondered why he was even that surprised. In a way, the fact that Gintoki would pull a stunt that managed to be kinky and laughably absurd at the same time, made perfect sense, if one stopped to think about it.  
And besides, it’s not like Hijikata himself was much better.  
Pondering if that was Gintoki’s roundabout way of letting him know that tonight his ass was finally on the line, Hijikata slipped a hand inside his uniform pocket to get a hold of a gift of his own. A promise ring. He even had it engraved. Gintoki was gonna love that one. And Hijikata was gonna love the look on his cocky face when he realized that it wasn’t meant for his finger.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this one seems a bit longer, it's by design. I know I promised daily updates, but I will be away for 4 days starting tomorrow, so it's highly probable that I won't be able to post new updates. In order to somewhat make up for the lost time, I will post two chapters in one day when I return. Until then, please make do with this.

Gintoki didn’t know that when he slept next to Hijikata, he often had nightmares and talked in his sleep.

The first time it happened, Hijikata awoke with a start from a dreamless sleep only to find Gintoki tossing violently on the futon next to him. He had kicked off the blanket, his naked body terribly tense, fists grasping at the sheet.

Hijikata touched his shoulder, trying to wake him, and felt beads of cold sweat on his palm.

Before he could understand what the hell was really happening, he felt Gintoki curl in on himself under his touch and suddenly break out in a string of broken phrases half-drowned in pleading moans.

It was nothing like Hijikata had ever heard before. Granted, he hadn’t heard that many people talking in their sleep, he was a Shinsengumi after all, not a tooth fairy. But he did notice quiet murmurs escaping Yamazaki when he occasionally dozed off on the job, usually something inconsequential about badminton, and of course everyone and their dog around the Shinsengumi headquarters heard Okita counting Hijikata’s dead bodies in his sleep on a regular basis. But this was something else entirely. What in the world was this useless freeloader lamenting so pitifully? Hijikata caught the word _‘sensei’_ several times and then he thought he made out _‘Takasugi’_ , but that might have been just his police instincts kicking in.

His first instinct was to shake Gintoki awake, but the thought of doing even a small bit of violence to this curled up childlike body seemed unbearable. In his growing confusion Hijikata did the only other thing he could think of. Quickly sliding back onto his futon next to Gintoki, Hijikata tugged him close, wrapping Gintoki in his arms, covering him with his whole body, struggling to at least still the other’s trembling. He stroked soft slightly damp hair, wracking his brain for whatever soothing things he could come up with to whisper to him. It took a while, but finally disturbing sounds stopped pouring out of Gintoki’s mouth and Hijikata could feel his body loosen and relax.

Hijikata never went back to sleep that night. He stayed like that, wrapping himself securely around Gintoki until he saw Gintoki slowly stirring awake. Hijikata let him go then. He rolled over to his side of the futon and lit up a much needed cigarette. Better not freak him out so early in the morning, and to avoid unnecessary questions, _especially_ to avoid unnecessary questions. He wouldn’t want Gintoki to find out. A very persistent voice in his head told him that Gintoki would never want Hijikata to see him that way.

It was this realization that stirred Hijikata in a strange way. The fact that he had seen some deeply buried, very intimate part of the man, whom, despite their having spent more than a few nights together, he really didn’t know much about. Maybe that was just another sign of his police sense rearing its head. Maybe…

Hijikata inhaled the smoke deep into his lungs and watched the features of Gintoki’s face that now returned to their usual irritatingly slack expression. It seemed that the crisis, whatever the hell it really was, had passed. For now. Hijikata didn’t know if the nightmare would make another cameo appearance. But if it came back to torment Gintoki again, he would be there to greet it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the two promissed drabbles comming right up. The next one will be up soon enough. Enjoy!

Gintoki sometimes felt like there were two Hijikatas. Which was absurd of course, there was no way the universe could possibly sustain two of those crazy bastards. Yet still, there was the obnoxious Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi in his neatly-ironed, brand new uniform and with an irritating look on his face. The kind that would judge you, if you so much as pissed behind the wrong corner. And then there was another Hijikata. Out of his ‘demonic leader’ persona and clad in an inconspicuous dark kimono that blended him so well into the endless stream of people flooding the streets of Kabuki-cho. There was a surprising amount of effortlessness, grace even, in his demeanor. The serious, yet relaxed way he carried himself. At times like that even his chain smoking looked kind of cool.  
It’s the kind of Hijikata Gintoki didn’t mind getting a drink with. And then, sometimes, there was more fun to be had. In Hijikata’s tiny apartment, messing up the sheets with the lights off (or on, if the mood struck them). Plus Gintoki often got to laze around undistracted afterwards, while Hijikata leafed through a paper, contented and serene.  
And then the next day would come and Gintoki would be going to play pachinko or simply breakfast-hunting, minding his own business, really, when he’d find himself nose to nose with a stick-up-the-ass prick threatening him with a parking fine. The Vice-Commander-san, grunting _‘fucking Yorozuya’_ through gritted teeth and something else about useless freeloaders. And Gintoki would just love to say that _yes, he is; he is already fucking Yorozuya_ , but usually he’d just settle for poking the annoying throbbing vein, that decorates the guy’s forehead. That, and a promise of revenge the next time they are getting on with the after-hours program. Which he probably wouldn’t keep anyway. Because why would he want to punish his drinking buddy and a good guy Hijikata like that?


	6. Chapter 6

Hijikata first started to find this… _relationship_ of theirs vexing after about three months of the same routine. In the evening, after he was done with his duties and Gintoki was done with pissing away another day, they’d meet up for drinks, or dinner, or both and Gintoki would be mellow, docile even, his levels of ‘annoying’ running at their all time low. He’d still be fooling around, but not in the way that would get on Hijikata’s nerves. And sometimes his gaze would drift off and he’d get this melancholic look on his face, that would tell Hijikata he’d have to keep an eye out for the nightmares tonight. Then Hijikata would pay the bill and Gintoki would pretend not to notice, but it would be fine that way, because it’s not like Hijikata was saving for retirement in the first place and it’s a good alternative to burying your salary in the backyard. They wouldn’t waste the time to discuss what to do next, instead Gintoki would head unsteadily, but decisively towards the flat Hijikata had got for them and Hijikata would follow, somewhat expecting him to change his mind halfway. And then the clothes would come off just as decisively, because they got the whole thing down to a tee by now. And maybe Hijikata would allow himself to murmur ‘Gintoki’, while his face was buried in the crook of the sweaty neck later in the night.  
So why did it have to be so different during the day? Of course, Hijikata didn’t expect two grown men to walk around holding hands in broad daylight. He had a reputation to uphold here. Plus, his body was still attached to his brain. But sometimes, having Gintoki openly mock him in the middle of the street with the bite marks, he had given him the previous night, still fresh on his neck was just a bit too much even for Hijikata. He’d start to say _‘Gin-’_ and would cut himself off, because it wasn’t his place call that name. Instead he’d see those annoying human pests of Gintoki’s sticking to his side like they were joined at the hip and something would just snap inside of him, flooding his insides with cold but lethal rage.  
So far Hijikata managed to swallow that rage. But the line he walked between the satisfaction that the intimacy with Gintoki brought him and the frustration he got from having to pretend it didn’t exist was becoming thinner by the day. Especially since there didn’t seem to be much pretending on Gintoki’s part.  
He knew he’d have to confront Gintoki eventually. If only so he could avoid confronting himself. But for the time being Hijikata went with the ‘psychological band aid’ option, doubling his daily nicotine intake.


	7. Chapter 7

A drawn out foreplay wasn’t really their thing. They were more of ‘getting straight down to business’ kind of guys. Which is why, when Gintoki, who was toying around with a can of whipped cream, sprayed some most suggestively on his fingers and stuck them in his mouth, Hijikata almost choked on his cigarette. Putting the cancerous stick aside he gave Gintoki a long hard look from the opposite side of the low table where they had just finished off an xxl-sized pizza. But Gintoki all but bloomed under his outraged gaze. Shaking the can, he sprayed some more, this time in the V of his kimono and gave Hijikata a look of his own, “Wanna play?”.  
Hijikata decided that he did.


	8. Chapter 8

“We’re out of whipped cream.”  
Hijikata’s grunt sent Gintoki on the futon with a flop. This recent experiment they took to, let him feel good and eat good all at once, which got him almost inappropriately excited. He even skipped dessert this evening, looking forward to their little game. And now this.  
“Can’t you just go get some?”  
Hijikata looked down at his naked and ready to go front, then back at Gintoki.  
“You are _kidding_ , right?”  
Gintoki briefly considered going home, when Hijikata suddenly perked up.  
“Never mind, I got this.” He reassured, flicking off the light on his way back.  
Gintoki was indignant at first, when instead of feeding him some sugary goodness as he used to, Hijikata went straight for the part of him Gintoki had no desire licking anything off of. But when the tell-tale smell filled his nostrils, he froze in place.  
“Hijikata-kun? Are you… Is that _mayonnaise_?”  
He could feel Hijikata tense over him.  
“No.”  
“Hi-ji-ka-ta-kun?”  
“Maybe..?”  
Gintoki fell back on the sheets, feeling nauseous.  
“Oh, come on, it’s not like you don’t feel good.”  
“No, I feel like a sandwich. Got some baloney stashed away there as well?”  
“Gintoki!”  
Hijikata finally had to abandon his late night snack and shut Gintoki up manually.  
After they were both satisfied and utterly spent, Hijikata lay there, breathing heavily on Gintoki’s neck.  
“Once a week,” he ventured hopefully.  
“Gross. Not a chance.”  
“Once a month, then.”  
“Still gross.”  
“Once a...year?”  
“Ugh, fine! Compromise.”  
Gintoki decided against mentioning that a compromised in his book meant a certain quid pro quo. And boy, was this mayonnaise-loving twisted sicko gonna pay!


	9. Chapter 9

Hijikata never really got the point of birthday celebrations. It just didn’t seem like the fact of his birth was something to make a fuss about. And then of course there were birthday parties conceived and executed by the Shinsengumi members that often featured pastries laced with tabasco and possibly arsenic, courtesy of Okita Sougo, disco nights DJ-ed by such talents as Kondo Isao and adult entertainment provided by the old pervert Matsudaira. So Hijikata wasn’t even particularly surprised when, upon returning from patrol on the day in question, he was ambushed and dragged off to a members only host slash strip club. Not surprised, no, mortified.  
He finally managed to slip away, while the rest of the Shinsengumi were busy cheering for Yamazaki, whom Okita forced to dance around the pole under the threat of very public, very corporal punishment.  
The buzz in his head from the loud music and downed liquor was slowly dissolving into the crisp night air around him, taking with it the weariness of the long day. He didn’t feel like sleeping yet. But he did feel like being alone, somewhere in a quiet place, where he could have the rest of the world fall away and just give himself over to the melancholy that he could already feel seeping through. And Hijikata knew just where to find it.  
He bought a new pack of cigarettes from a stall on the corner - his birthday present to himself - and ran up the stairs to his ‘Gintoki apartment’... only to stumble over the ‘Gintoki’ part of it.  
Huddled in front of the door, Gintoki was craddling a bottle and a large box. He must have fallen asleep, because his eyes looked blurry and he kept looking around disoriented when Hijikata almost ran smack into him.  
The box turned out to contain a clearly homemade cake, decorated with bright pink icing that had ‘ **32!** ’ scribbled on it in uneven bold numbers. Hijikata carefully carved out a large piece for Gintoki and a thinner one for himself. He decided not to mention that he was in fact turning twenty-eight. It was the thought that counted. Plus the fact that Gintoki had mastered enough energy to bake for him. That part was actually kind of amazing.  
When they finished a bottle of surprisingly high quality saké and Gintoki finished the rest of the cake, it was already way past their usual bedtime. Gintoki slid down on the floor next to the table and was measuring Hijikata with drowsy eyes.  
“You ready to call it a night, oji-san? Or do you want some adult company?”  
Hijikata considered it for a moment. His previous gloomy mood appeared to have lifted and with it went the desire to be left alone. Instead, he felt a strange warmth spread through his body enveloping him like a blanket. He turned off the lights in lieu of explanation and they crawled onto the futon. Wrapping his arms around Gintoki, Hijikata felt relaxed like he hadn’t been in years, like every little thing was in place where it belonged and there was nothing he needed to fix, to fight for. They stayed like this, simply lying with their bodies intertwined for a long time, drifting with the sounds coming in from the outside and shadows that swept across the room.  
Gintoki, of course, couldn’t help himself. “Is this all you’ve got? You really are an old man,” he mocked twisting around, but there was no usual bite to it.  
Inhaling the scent of sugar powder caught in silver hair, Hijikata slowly descended into sound sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

The first time Hijikata realized he probably loved Gintoki was on the way to their little hideout.  
With some kind of seasonal celebrations, neither of them knew much about, in full swing, they got swept up by the festival crowd. The torrent of people carried them through the colorfully lit up streets, until they were finally spat out near the river bank, where the flowers of fireworks bloomed suddenly in the night sky. There was a smell of yakitori and grilled fish in the air, and little children dressed in bright kimonos sat on their parents’ shoulders all around them.  
Hijikata looked over at Gintoki’s profile, illuminated by the explosions of vibrant lights and felt an irresistible urge to hold his hand. He met with a lazy taunt, _‘what are you a kid?’_ , but the cool fingers in his hand interlaced with his own.  
When he left Gintoki sleeping in their futon the next morning, Hijikata knew he couldn’t dismiss their relationship as just a casual fling any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One third done, twenty more drabbles to go.


	11. Part 1 of 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this one kind of got away from me. Once I got into Hijikata's perverted obsession, I just couldn't stop myself. And since it was turning out way longer than any drabble has the right to be, I decided to split it into two. So here comes 'drabble 11 - part 1 of 2'.

It’s the kind of thing that you don’t notice until it’s about to hit you right between the fucking eyes. Hijikata had always suspected that Gintoki was into some kinky shit (and their whipped cream fun did little to lay those doubts to rest), but in his lifetime he wouldn’t have imagined just how deviant he himself could become.  
The realization came in waves, akin to a rising nausea. And now that he thought back on it, the first time that things had begun to go south was during his usual evening patrol, when he accidentally stumbled into Gintoki, clad inexplicably in a sakura-patterned women’s kimono and with curly pigtails sticking out from the sides of his head. Hijikata stared, uncomprehending, into a fully made up face, pink eyeshadow and all, before grabbing Gintoki by the arm and hauling him out of there.  
He never did get a proper explanation, besides the usual moronic ‘gintoki-isms’ as to why the guy he’d been sleeping with for the past several months, was wondering the streets dressed entirely in drag. But since that incident Hijikata got this craving that he could never quite put his finger on, like a fever that wouldn’t subside. He’d be out patrolling and suddenly catch himself standing in front of the stores he had no business shopping in; the bright covers of fashion magazines would hold his eyes for a moment too long as he stopped to buy his usual newspaper every morning. After a week of getting alarmed looks from women on the streets as he kept peering intently into their faces, Hijikata finally gave in and went into the farthest cosmetics shop from the Shinsengumi headquarters, he could find.


	12. Part 2 of 2

The shop smelt of fake rose fragrance and face powder. There, submerged in the sea of nailpolishes, mascaras and eyeshadows of every shade and color, Hijikata could finally feel his fever somewhat recede. A young salesgirl approached him cautiously, asking if he was looking for something for his girlfriend and after a moment's hesitation Hijikata nodded. _What did the girlfriend look like? Normal. Maybe a bit manish- sporty, sporty is the word! Oh, the skin tone and stuff? She’s pretty pale. And she’s got very light hair._ The salesgirl vanished for a second, then reappeared with a bright red lipstick.  
It was perfect.The deep rosy shade, even its pointy form. The sole thought of seeing it being applied to the puckered lips made the whole other kind of fever spread through Hijikata’s body. He quickly paid for the lipstick, stuck it in the pocket of his uniform and spent the rest of the day racking his brain over how to bring up this new little obsession of his with Gintoki.  
As one might have expected, it didn’t go over well. With the culprit in question sitting squarely in the middle of the table in its beautifully carved container, Gintoki listened to Hijikata’s stuttered explanations with a solemn look on his face. When Hijikata was finally out of breath, he went to rummage through the box they had for a kitchen cabinet and came back with a sashimi knife. Then he told Hijikata to hold still, so he could slice his balls off, nice and clean.  
Hijikata didn’t remember much of the catfight that ensued.  
But he did remember the make-up sex. He remembered Gintoki looking both scandalized and turned on, as he let Hijikata paint his lips red and undress him. He remembered then kissing each other senseless, until they were both short of breath like inexperienced teenagers.  
But what he remembered most the morning after, was the promise Gintoki managed to extract from him in the heat of passion. Gintoki would let Hijikata paint on him, if he could then in turn paint on Hijikata. And the reason he remembered it so well, was because currently it was fifteen minutes before the start of his shift and he was frantically scrubbing his forehead, which had _‘I’m a perverted freak’_ written on it in permanent marker.


	13. Chapter 13

It was a vice he had just recently developed. Which was obviously all Hijikata’s fault. With that guy being rotten to the core, it was no surprise that some of his bad habits started to rub off on Gintoki. _‘Like this nasty quirk,’_ Gintoki thought, as he let out a puff of smoke through his nose and passed the cigarette back to Hijikata. How long have they been doing this? Sharing a smoke after sex? If things went on as they had until now, next thing Gintoki knew, they’d be taking a dump together.  
And even putting bathroom habits aside, this still begged the inevitable question: _just how long is long enough?_  
It was the question that had been hovering over him for a while now; in the comforting domesticity of the time they shared in this appartment, in the time itself and the increasing amount of it they were spending together. And the more familiar and cozy it got, the more it deviated from the short-lived impudent fun Gintoki had originally intended it to be. What’s more, recently he noticed this _look_ Hijikata got in his eyes, when he thought Gintoki wasn’t watching. Gintoki might have been a far cry from a relationship guru, but he had encountered that look before, and life had readily taught him a lesson that not much good ever came of it.  
_He would have to cut it off soon._ The fact that this realization came to Gintoki, while the other man’s cum was still inside of him, was in an almost laughably bad taste. Yet he could feel it in his bones. Before Hijikata got any weird ideas. Before this got too out of hand. He would have to end it.  
“Want another drag?” Beside him Hijikata flicked off the ash onto an ashtray, placed strategically on his stomach, before passing it to Gintoki, without waiting for a reply. The spark of the burning tip gave an unusually mischievous twinkle to his otherwise dark eyes.  
“You’re just slowly trying to kill me. You’re not fooling anyone, Ogushi-kun,” Gintoki lamented, but took the cigarette anyway.  
Soon. But not just yet. A little more time wouldn’t make much of a difference either way, so why shouldn’t he get a few more free meals? Especially, since some very decent sex was on the menu. And it’s not like they grew attached at the hip. He could easily quit any time he wanted to - was what Gintoki decided, as he stubbed out the cigarette butt and submerged them into the dark.


	14. Part 1 of 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know, I skipped a day. Here is a two-part drabble to make up for it.

Hijikata had been sitting in one spot for so long, it felt like his ass was becoming one with the tatami mat. The small room on the top floor of an obscure housing complex was empty, save for a pair of binoculars and an ashtray that now held three packs worth of cigarette butts - Hijikata’s personal best. With nothing left to smoke and hence nothing left to do, Hijikata was beginning to doze off when the footsteps near the door brought him to full alert.  
“Why does it always have to be you, Hijikata-san?” Okita complained in a flat voice, emerging from behind the door, and Hijikata slipped his hand off the hilt of his sword. “Don’t you have some Shinsengumi goons, you can scare into doing the stake out for you?”  
“Those Shinsengumi goons are out patrolling the streets. Which is what _you_ should be doing, by the way.”  
“Patrolling is overrated.” Okita came to stand next to Hijikata and peered out the window. “What’s the point, if the main trouble instigator is right here anyway?”  
From where they were standing you could see into the private booth of a restaurant across the street, where a dignified longhaired figure was sitting alone at a table.  
“He’s been like that for over two hours. Damn, that guy’s got time to waste!”  
Okita gave him a deadpan look. “Don’t get so pissy, Hijikata-san. You’ll give yourself an early stroke, when we both know it should be me, who does you in.”  
“Who the hell knows that?!” Hijikata fumbled for a cigarette and cursed when he remembered he was out. He had spent the whole afternoon of his supposed day off staring at Katsura Kotaro in hopes that he would bring them to the Joishishi HQ. So far the only thing Katsura brought him was a nicotine fit and a sore ass.  
Hijikata was just about to get the hell out of the stuffy room, when Okita’s voice stopped him dead. “You’re gonna want to see this, Hijikata-san. Guess who’s our guy got for company? It’s Yorozuya no Danna.”  
Hijikata went back to his post, taking great care to keep his steps and his expression even. Down below they could now see Katsura frantically gesticulating at someone hidden from their line of sight. But before Hijikata could voice his doubts, the man Katsura was talking to, stepped into the light. It was unmistakable: that loosened white kimono, the wooden sword, the silver hair. Hijikata suddenly felt a twinge of suspicion creep into him. Just what exactly was the relationship between those two? He had seen Gintoki in the company of the Joishishi’s leader before, but never stopped to really think about it. Gintoki had always been a somewhat mysterious figure and after they started seeing each other, Hijikata had consciously avoided digging too much into his past for fear of finding something that he as a Shinsengumi wouldn’t be able to ignore. The problem was that right now he _was_ a Shinsengumi and Okita was next to him, watching.  
“Open the window, we might be able to hear something.” How he wished for a cigarette right now!  
The sound of indignant voice was muffled, but still audible. “You are over two hours late!” Katsura was berating. They couldn’t hear Gintoki’s reply, but his laid back posture didn’t change. Instead he threw an envelope on the table and then bent down to take a sip out of Katsura’s cup.  
Hijikata was busy examining the envelope through his binoculars when he heard Okita whistle quietly beside him. Startled, he pulled the binoculars away and almost tumbled backwards when he saw Gintoki pressing Katsura against the booth’s wall. If there was any doubt as to his intentions, it all but evaporated when Gintoki bent down his head, pulling Katsura into a deep kiss.


	15. Part 2 of 2

Hijikata didn’t stay to watch the rest. He turned away, only to find Okita’s watchful eyes directed not at the scene below, but at him.  
“Those two really seem to be getting it on. Who knew Danna was seeing someone?”  
“Who cares,” Hijikata shrugged, struggling to suppress the shock. He didn’t care for the way Okita kept staring at him. Hijikata didn’t know what this twisted little sadist would do, if he caught wind of his own involvement with Gintoki, and he didn’t wish to find out. He just wanted to get out of there as fast and as far away as he could, before the growing balloon of indignation inside of him, bursted out.  
When Hijikata finally made it outside, Okita’s parting words followed him out. _“Wow, Yorozuya no Danna really has no shame,”_ Okita said with his back to him.  
Except that Hijikata had already known that. This whole little thing they had together began because Gintoki had shamelessly seduced _him_ in the first place. What can you possibly make of the guy who chooses sex of all things to cheer another man up?  
Hijikata turned into the nearest empty side street and rested his back against the cold wall. His body felt leaden, unmovable, but his mind was clear, for what felt like the first time in a long while. He had allowed himself to be swallowed up by the fantasy of intimacy and affection, and now this fantasy spat him out like a chewed out gum. Pathetic! He couldn't even be mad at Gintoki any more. Gintoki was,.. well, _Gintoki_. God only knew what went on in his head. But how could he have let himself lose his head like that? Living together? Holding hands? God, it made Hijikata cringe, just thinking about it. He had made a complete idiot of himself.  
The frustration bubbling inside of him finally came bursting. Hijikata felt a sharp pain in his hand and was startled to see his fist slammed into the wall. Two thin trickles of blood were snaking down his forearm. Hijikata glared at the mess for a while before stuffing the abused hand into his pocket. He didn’t want to think about it any more. No more. At least for now. He had to make himself presentable before he went back to the Shinsengumi headquarters. There were duties waiting for him. His actual life. People he cared about.  
Hijikata made his way through the crowded streets of Kabuki-cho, wondering if this place had always been so tediously grey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halfway done! Thank you all so much for the wonderful comments so far! I read and cherish each and every one of them. Hope, you'll be able to enjoy this even more from now on!


	16. Chapter 16

Gintoki wasn’t doing all too swell that evening. He felt slightly feverish and the grilled slice of juicy meat he was chewing on, tasted about as good as a piece of rubber. Maybe he’d caught something weird from Zura the other day.  
Gintoki recalled the encounter thoughtfully. That sullen guy got so upset, and all because he got there a little late. Gintoki just couldn’t help wanting to tease him a little. In retrospect he had to admit he might have gone somewhat overboard. It’s been a while since Gintoki had seen such an utterly petrified look on Zura’s face. Honestly, it was so funny! They were no strangers to those kinds of games at some point in time. But that particular element of their relationship had long since withered away. And besides, Gintoki had a new playmate now.  
Speaking of whom, Hijikata was being unusually quiet, barely touching his mayonnaise-contaminated food. Instead, he kept chain-smoking with a morose look on his face, until the air over their heads was one depressed smelly cloud. He had been the one to call Gintoki out, but now it didn’t seem like he wanted either of them to be there. So much so, that Gintoki began to fool around imagining Hijikata’s reaction if he told him about his little ‘Zura incident’. Although, admittedly, that would hardly be the best mood elevator. Hijikata was way too serious a guy for that. Just like now, he was probably brooding over some stupid-ass thing someone said or did without even thinking twice about it. It was no fun teasing a guy like that.  
Gintoki studied the man opposite him. He might not have been fun to tease, but it could be kind of hot, if he got jealous. Like movie-style jealous. They could have an angry fuck, spice things up a bit. He pictured Hijikata slamming him into the door as soon as it closed behind them and ripping his clothes off with such demanding urgency, it made the hair on the back of Gintoki’s neck stand on ends.  
That settled it. Gintoki hurriedly shoved the rest of the dinner down his throat.  
“So what’s the plan, Hijikata-kun? ” he smirked at taciturn Hijikata in a way that he knew for a fact never left the man unaffected. “Gin-san is feeling a bit under the weather today. Feel like helping me sweat it out?”  
Hijikata flinched visibly, as if woken up by the sound of his voice. He pulled out another cigarette, took one drag, then suddenly stubbed it out.  
“Sorry, no can do. I still got some work left, so I’m gonna head back.”  
_Back? After Gintoki had already mentally undressed both of them?_  
Gintoki was too startled to protest and Hijikata took it as his cue to slide out of his seat and walk away, leaving him behind. It was the very first time he didn’t invite Gintoki over after they spent the evening together. Gintoki sat there stunned, watching the dark figure recede into the crowed of other patrons. True, he was planning to put some distance between the two of them. But this was just… disconcerting. In fact, this whole encounter left a bad taste in his mouth, like that meat he had to chew.  
Feeling dissatisfied and strangely unsettled, Gintoki slipped out of the place, leaving the bill unpaid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it. Gin-chan is not the 'underhanded cheater' kind of guy, just the increadibly oblivious kind. Is that better? You decide.  
> Also, some personal things have come up for me, so I might be taking a break from posting for a few days. But I do want to try and get at least one more chapter out tomorrow, before I clock out, since it's supposed to explain what the hell Hijikata is still doing hanging out with Gintoki.


End file.
